Sitting With Grief, Instead of Pushing It Away

For many of us, grief is something we learn to manage rather than meet. We keep busy, stay strong, and do our best to carry on. Often that resistance is well‑intentioned—it’s how we survive. But over time, I’ve noticed that pushing grief away doesn’t actually make it smaller. It just asks to be felt later.

Sitting with grief is not about wallowing or staying stuck. It’s about allowing what’s already there to exist, without immediately trying to change it. It’s acknowledging the quiet ache, the heaviness in the body, or the sudden wave of sadness, and letting it be present without judgement.

There can be a fear that if we really let ourselves feel grief, it will overwhelm us. But in my experience, emotions move when they’re given space. Grief doesn’t stay at its peak forever. It ebbs and flows. When we stop fighting it, we often find that it softens on its own.

Sitting with grief might mean pausing for a few breaths when something hurts, instead of distracting yourself. It might look like letting tears come without needing to explain them, or noticing how loss shows up in your body—tightness, fatigue, or a sense of longing—and offering yourself some compassion in those moments.

This doesn’t mean grief disappears. It means our relationship to it changes. When we give ourselves permission to feel what’s true, grief becomes something we can carry with more steadiness, rather than something that keeps knocking us off course.

And remember- feelings of grief can come in many forms other than loss of a loved one. Loss of job. Relationship ending. Something that contributes to a feeling of loss of identity.

Healing isn’t about getting rid of grief or moving on from it. It’s about learning how to sit alongside it—honouring what has been lost, while still allowing yourself to live, connect, and grow.